Gathering my thoughts so far...

I started this blog discussing that I am here to write, for various reasons, and that lately I have been feeling a great frustration with humanity and society about what I've called fragmented realities.

I've noted that we are all very self-involved and arrogant, believing what we are each doing or saying is important and that others should take notice and perhaps contemplate the meaning that is being conveyed and incorporate the new ideas into their own thought processes.

I've also vaguely tackled the concept that we all know is true, that the vast, vast majority is basically worthless information and is a distraction if you are trying to form clear and coherent thoughts, either for yourself or to communicate to others.

I just want to state that I comprehend that I appear arrogant and self-involved, and probably hypocritical. I believe that my value is in my own unique perspective, in that some things appear obvious to me while few others even mention the proverbial "elephant-in-the-room." So I am going to state the view from here even as I contemplate that both what I write and my perspective may be meaningless.

I believe this lack of perspective, the inability to even see other perspectives, causes great confusion and misunderstanding among society, and that even this 'inability to even see other perspectives' is one of the 'elephants-in-the-room' that are, intentionally or not, ignored or not allowed to be part of the debate.

So, to just get started down this line of reasoning I'm going to reference a current online article:

BP Gulf Oil Spill: 'This Is Literally a War We're In' - ABC News

That headline grabbed my attention, it highlights a 'fragmented reality'. We have a 'war on terror' which is as silly as a 'war on sadness' -- but actually using planning, and strategy and leadership are apparently not going to be tools to battle this disaster, we are going to let a foreign, for-profit corporation with their own private motivations and goals decide what should be done at each step. Americans will allow foreigners to destroy their lands as long as there motivations are greed and they use guile, but Americans will not stand for actions motivated by anger against this nation for its past actions.

Hmm, I guess I've devolved into sarcasm and should move along... Maybe what I'm driving at is America's and American's words and actions are disproportionate to what they say their actions are, and, as with individuals, actions speak louder than words. America spends great time, money and resources to wage this 'war on terror' but spend comparatively little to protect or enhance their own country or environment. I don't know, kinda' like a filthy guy sitting in a filthy pig-pen exerting all his efforts at shooting a bazooka at somebody a mile away who is dropping a candy wrapper on the ground... Put down the bazooka for a minute and take a shower, dude!

See Also: NASA satellite video traces the Gulf of Mexico oil spill

UPDATE, 2:40--just ran across this excellent article that expresses my views of the US governent's responsibility to the citizens.

Robert Reich: Why Obama Should Put BP Under Temporary Receivership
"The president should temporarily take over BP's Gulf operations. We have a national emergency on our hands. No president would sit by and watch a privately owned nuclear reactor melt down and the gulf spill is the environmental equivalent."

perhaps i should go read a novel...

Since I've started this blog I have repeatedly contemplated what in the heck I'm doing here, why are all these blogs here?

First off, everybody believes that what is happening in their own mind, their own thoughts, is very important. Since everybody is arrogant and believes they must tell their thoughts to everybody else, everybody is now a publisher. There are blogs, and podcasts, and Twitter, and web pages, and...

You get the idea. But in the past an individual would have to write thousands of pages and then convince a publisher to actually publish whatever had been written. In the old system there were obviously fewer things published because more people were required to approve, or encourage, the content.

It seems to me that there was less crap to wade through before everyone became a publisher... I believe the thoughts of some individuals are more "important" than the thoughts of many others. Now, I didn't say anything about those individual's lives, or their wealth, or anything. I'm just saying that most of what is written is not useful to people other than the author.

So there are millions of irrelevant and basically useless blogs out there that primarily serve the purpose of bolstering the author's ego and alleviating that person's boredom. Hmm...

does this matter?

I fall asleep with the television on and wake up to late night drivel. Ann Curry is on a late night show with Jimmy Fallon. She got stuck in an elevator for an hour and the entire little group in the elevator were twittering that the were stuck in an elevator. And she mentioned that she spoke at Wheaton College, only she had looked up the wrong Wheaton College and cited numerous non-graduates as graduates.

So I Google Ann Curry and find she is a reporter for some cotton-candy daytime show. Let me get tis straight--she is a reporter who makes millions to do a luxurious job and lives the life of wealth and extravagance and that is important, so she is paid more money to go on a night time show to tell stories about how she googles drunk, looks up the wrong college, and can't even address a college graduation coherently the next day...

Does any of this matter? In one way, no. In another way, it just highlights that individuals are no different than BP. Ann Curry is one lucky bitch--she gets awards and millions of dollars to DO A JOB and so that makes her famous, so she gets more money and can stay drunk as much as she wants and can piss all over an entire graduating college class. Aren't we so honored to have her earn more money on late night TV displaying her greed and avarice and callousness toward humanity in front of our eyes on late night television.

This only matters in the fact that all we have to do is turn on our televisions, look around ourselves, to see self-obsession and greed being displayed by giant oil companies and self-involved reporters, both with no other goal than gain a few of your hard-earned dollars, to detract from your wealth, only to fill their own material needs.

Is there any other goal in life than to somehow, anyway possible, to take other people's dollars? I truly wonder. Do humans have any other goal than exploiting other humans? Oh, right, exploiting the planet...

I climb out of bed and turn the TV off.

Grey Wolf

Obama criticism...

I just watched Pres. Obama's press conference and, while I have been an Obama supporter before, I am gonna' have to give him an "F" on the Federal response to the Gulf oil disaster.

FEMA or the Army Corp or whoever from the Federal Government should have been in charge from day one! Not 'supervising'. Obama said BP wants to stop this leak.

Yeah, now they do. On day one they were trying to capture a little more oil and they have wasted time and should not have been trusted to choose the response path to take.

With FEMA or the Coast Guard or the Army Corp of Engineers in charge, as well as advice from industry experts outside of BP, this "top kill" effort may have been used first.

Grey Wolf

the news, the news

The information we are inundated with everyday, the news, the news, the oil spill, Greece, fin reg, politicians and celebrities, it is too much. It complicates my 'simplify, simplify' strategy.

what I am whittling...

This is an odd format where one post is on top of the other; I understand it is so the newest post is on top for the reader, the visitor -- but for me as a writer it makes me 'feel' that I wrote the 'ending' first, which I guess is the novelty of the blog, it is a 'never-ending story', until it isn't.

So anyway, to continue with my thoughts from yesterday, which can be found just below this post ;-), I regret mentioning others in a possibly negative light, it shines a negative light back on me, however, I was actually talking about myself, framing my point of reference...

As I'm sending out emails and making phone calls for school and medical treatment and finances it occurs to me that I am fairly disorganized, my documents are scattered and I fail to construct realistic frameworks for dealing with the inevitable future information I will have to file or deal with.

And as I pondered on this, and my similarities with my cousin, and my dissimilarity to many much more control-type people, I didn't jump up and start managing documents, I contemplated if my relaxed attitude, whether my ability and inclination to ponder my own actions, whether these attributes are actually among my strengths ... one of the important things in life is deciding what we are going to do, without the deciding the do is out of your control, which amazes me about obsessive-compulsive control freaks---they actually have very little conscious control of their words or actions, it is almost pre-programed.

That is what I am whittling away at in my life at this moment. "Simplify, simplify," as Thureau would say. What is important, what is valuable, what is pleasant to do with my time and energy and money? Those are important questions, and it is important to take the time to do the asking of those questions.

I guess I am more concerned about organizing my thoughts and actions at the moment than I am in organizing documents and contact information.

Grey Wolf

You're crazy, I'm crazy

The world is fragmented and everybody concentrates on their own areas of interest and disregards or dismisses tangental factors.

We live in fragmented realities. It is easier to see in others than ourselves. I can look at my ex with her current 2010 complaints of a possible rare and incurable ailment and see little difference with her complaints of a different 1990's possible rare and incurable ailment, and I'm sure ten or twenty years from now she will complain of another possible rare and incurable ailment.

(My ex has many other fine qualities and is an overall great person, and I have many flaws and faults of my own which I will discuss in depth in the near future. In real life we can't talk about reality, I couldn't say these things to her as she would grow defensive and react by attacking me--arguing with me, belittling me, etc, etc, resulting in negative progress on all fronts. I have asked others to point out the same type of flaws and logical inconsistencies about me, but they usually won't, obviously fearing that I will grow defensive and react aggressively. -- Think about that little phrase I just threw in there, it means a lot -- "In real life we can't talk about reality..." I am writing anonymously and honestly here, take heed!)

She needs people to express compassion, she is very needy, and she is my ex. But I grasp her as an example only to illustrate a larger point and only because of my familiarity with the subject.)

Cognitive dissonance. Where a belief trumps a fact. You know something, but a belief over-rides what is known as a fact. Two or three examples...

The classic example is of some primitive peoples believing that killing a certain species of animal would cause rainfall. "The Indians thought that killing a buffalo would bring rain" and that type of thing.

A more moden example is a cult believing that an alien goddess would visit on a certain date. After the date passed some members left the group but others created rationales and stayed. "The goddess is pleased with our devotion and she has postponed her appearance."

Basic logic and appreciation of reality make these situations unacceptable to most people. To an extent, not realizing our own absurd tendencies is a type of cognitive dissonance. My ex, if she did serious self-analysis, would clearly see that an individual with her tendencies is rather pathetic and, by spending so much time and energy generating pity, is not utilizing her abilities to their fullest.

Let's leave my ex out of this for a minute and cite a few of my relatives. My mother is extremely arrogant and passive-agressive and she also often plays the pity card. She will say, "Oh, I can't do anything right." But as soon as she is out of sight she will secretly try to "fix" a minor problem that you mentioned ... usually with disastrous consequences. She can cite the fact of her numerous blunders, but she firmly believes that she is more skillful and intelligent than any other person she has ever meet--and she acts on that belief despite the vast amount of data contradicting those beliefs.

A cousin, who is fairly intelligent and works in a mid-level labor job and makes a comfortable living, but he always mentions going back to school, or starting a business, or investing in something, or fixing something up ... But none of these things ever come to pass, there are cars to be worked on in the garage and the house needs serious work, and in his mind one day all of these things will be taken care of ... now some of this is laziness, true, but some is slightly delusional. But they are delusions he truly believes. He believes he is industrious, but he doesn't need to accomplish anything, he just needs to believe he will accomplish all of these things one day. Of course, when he finally has to admit to himself that 'one day' has come and gone, he will find a new rationale.

So my thoughts on the human mind and the causes of our actions have prompted me to start this blog. I should have called it "You're crazy, I'm crazy" after that old book 'You're OK, I'm OK' because it means the same thing to me. Obviously, I am applying these same thoughts to a little examination of myself and my tendencies, and I see the most similarity with my cousin, to a lesser degree. I always see myself as a writer. I am not working for a publication or taking a class or working on a project, so ... so I'm not currently actively writing, and I need to change that.

So I am here to be doing something. I am here to write something significant about myself or society. I am not only here to write though, I am here to learn something significant about myself or society, and I am here to change something significant about myself or society. The pen is mightier than the sword.

Take care, I'll be back,

Grey Wolf