what I am whittling...

This is an odd format where one post is on top of the other; I understand it is so the newest post is on top for the reader, the visitor -- but for me as a writer it makes me 'feel' that I wrote the 'ending' first, which I guess is the novelty of the blog, it is a 'never-ending story', until it isn't.

So anyway, to continue with my thoughts from yesterday, which can be found just below this post ;-), I regret mentioning others in a possibly negative light, it shines a negative light back on me, however, I was actually talking about myself, framing my point of reference...

As I'm sending out emails and making phone calls for school and medical treatment and finances it occurs to me that I am fairly disorganized, my documents are scattered and I fail to construct realistic frameworks for dealing with the inevitable future information I will have to file or deal with.

And as I pondered on this, and my similarities with my cousin, and my dissimilarity to many much more control-type people, I didn't jump up and start managing documents, I contemplated if my relaxed attitude, whether my ability and inclination to ponder my own actions, whether these attributes are actually among my strengths ... one of the important things in life is deciding what we are going to do, without the deciding the do is out of your control, which amazes me about obsessive-compulsive control freaks---they actually have very little conscious control of their words or actions, it is almost pre-programed.

That is what I am whittling away at in my life at this moment. "Simplify, simplify," as Thureau would say. What is important, what is valuable, what is pleasant to do with my time and energy and money? Those are important questions, and it is important to take the time to do the asking of those questions.

I guess I am more concerned about organizing my thoughts and actions at the moment than I am in organizing documents and contact information.

Grey Wolf